Behind My Mask…..

Dr. Mike Murphy

Cancer often brings with it many realities and emotions. Realities we try our best to avoid so that we do not have to face them, and emotions we do everything we can not to have to feel them. Those who battle with all that cancer can bring, often find they wear a mask. A mask not to cover their fears and their pains, but a mask to hide what a true look into their face might show to others. It is not in the reality we face, but the emotions that reality might bring to those in our life, that often has us putting our mask in place.

Many days, I find myself picking up that mask. Putting on that mask so I can privately deal with the cancer without others having to see it. Not letting others see the toll it takes, or having to worry about the concerns it brings. Knowing that the Lord is right here with me behind this mask, holding me closer than I thought any arms possibly could.

But today, as I again reach for my mask, I realize the great mistake I have been making each day in wearing that mask. One of my favorite passages in the Bible tells me, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”(Proverbs 3:5-6). So often I have quoted those words, using those words in sermons and in writing articles. Today, as I reached for my mask, the Lord showed me an even deeper meaning to those words. A purpose in those words that I could never speak out loud with my mask on.

I cannot trust the Lord part way, not fifty percent, seventy-five percent, or even ninety-nine percent. I either trust the Lord one hundred percent, or I do not trust the Lord at all. And in that trust, in each acknowledgment I give to Him, I realize how often His hand works through the lives of those who call on His name. Through the prayers they give, through the words of encouragement they speak, and through the experiences they share. In each of those instances, it is impossible to not see His hand moving, to not feel the Spirit of His presence, and to see His will being done. And behind my mask, I am blinded from watching the glory of His hand at work in the lives of those around me. Giving me strength as He coordinates through each of them with every movement of His hand.

His Word tells us that the prayer of a righteous person has great power in His hands, and produces the most amazing of results(James 5:16). Behind my mask, I keep that great power away from bringing the amazement of those results to my life. I keep silent the prayers of those around me, by not letting them know just how much I need them to pray for me. And no matter how good my intentions might be, by placing on my mask, i cover my eyes to the complete direction of the path He planned for me. And with my mask in place, I have failed to see that strength can often come when I allow others to see me vulnerable before the Lord.

In each prayer those who care for me offer, and in each word of encouragement those who care might give me, the glory of our Lord is seen. And whether the petitions of those prayers are granted or not, I see the power that is held in His hands, and the trust that is placed in those hands. I watch the love and care for me being given to the hands of the only One who can make a difference in me. Those who are concerned and reach out to me, doing all they can to place my life in those hands. And as I take off my mask, and the Holy Spirit opens my eyes to each of your prayers, my vision becomes clear with a picture of incredible hope.

As I remove my mask, I quickly realize that the healing request of each of your prayers are being answered. Answered in a more powerful way than many of you might even realize. The answer to your prayers might never bring a healing to my body from the cancer, but it has already brought a healing and a comfort to my mind from all I see in this world today. So often, like so many of you, I look at this world and the evil I see overwhelms me. Each day it seems that evil is overrunning us, and we wonder out loud what tomorrow might bring. But as I take off my mask, allowing the Holy Spirit to focus my eyes, and I see the faces of each of you, a very hopeful smile comes again to my face.

The reality of my cancer tells me that one day soon, my days on this earth will end. And as my name is soon forgotten by this world, reality tells me that this world will still keep turning. And as it turns toward tomorrow, I do not see evil bringing it to a stop. As a glimpse of tomorrow comes into my sight, I see this world turning with hope. An incredible hope that brings a smile to my face as I look into the eyes of each of you.

God’s Word tells me, “For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will continue to perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”( Philippians 1:6). Each of you are the fulfillment of that confidence. Each of you are the hands of that good works. If each of you are so quick to pray for one as undeserving as me, then I know, without a doubt, that each of you will be just as quick to pray for all those around you. Just as quick to reach out with all your might to one hurting close to you. And just as quick to take His Word to a world in need.

I have come to realize from His Word and this world, there is a great wall that our Lord has built. A wall that helps protects us who call on His name from the evil of this world. Many stand guard on that wall, helping to keep the destruction of that evil from flooding us. And each day, evil does everything it can to bombard that wall, hoping to chip away at it a little at a time. My job for the Lord has not had me standing on that wall, but has called on me to care for that wall. To each day pick up my trowel and mortar and to help repair that wall, keeping it standing strong. Today, as I take off my mask and take a hard look around at those who also have the mortar mix caked on their hands, I see the faces of so many of you. And the biggest of smiles comes to my face, as I realize that tomorrow when I am no longer here, this wall will be standing just as strong.

As you see me today taking off my mask, for the first time showing you my vulnerability, and giving you a glimpse of the reality of what the cancer has physically done to me, do not think the tears that have formed in my eyes are from the pain. The are actually the start of the most amazing tears of joy. Tears of joy that fill my eyes as I look into the faces of so many of you, and see the hopeful reflection of our Lord with each glimpse I see. In each of you, tomorrow brings hope.