I was thinking about Peter’s view of Himself before the death of Jesus. In John 13:36, where Peter swears he will lay down his life for the Lord, was his exalted thought of what he was. Yes, he was very earnest and forceful about it and thought he meant it with all of his heart. He did not, however know what the true motive of his heart was. He, like all of us, had self at the core.
After he found himself denying Jesus three times, he went out and wept bitterly. Now, as far as we know, no-one of the other disciples knew what Peter had done. It does not appear that he had told them in light of the sequence of events following the resurrection. He was there with them and at one point invited them to go back to fishing, an occupation which Jesus had clearly called him to leave and follow Him. (John 21)
Then, at the end of John 21, we find that Jesus had drawn Peter aside into a private conversation. Knowing the Greek words for love, is crucial to the understanding of what that conversation really held for Peter. I will explain as I go along here. Jesus as we all know, asked Peter three times if he loved Him coinciding with the three denials. The first two times Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him, He uses the Greek word, agape, for love. Agape is the strongest kind of love there is and is the word used most for the love of God. It is a self-sacrificial kind of love. It is what Peter was telling Jesus back in John 13:36, when he was so adamant about laying down his life for the Lord. Now, Peter, honestly answering the Lord, says, “Lord You know that I love You,” Peter, however cannot use the word, agape, for he is beginning to realize that He has been exposed in the fraud of his own thinking about himself. So he uses a lesser word for love, phileo, which is brotherly love.
Now the third time Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him, He also drops the word, agape, and uses the same word as Peter had, phileo. Jesus says to Peter, “Do you phileo (brotherly love) me?”
It is Peter’s response which I never quite saw clearly before in the light of what was really taking place here. In response to Jesus third question, Peter replies, “You know all things, You know that I phileo (brotherly love) You”. In other words, You Knew that I did not love You as I thought I was capable of doing.
What struck me in this was that it is exactly what we must go through if we are going to follow the Lord. He will have to permit us to go through experiences which uncover the fraud of self righteousness. We will, as did Peter, have to come to say, “Lord, You knew this all along. You knew what was in me. You had to expose it that I might see and confess it, and be set free to follow You in greater measure.” This is exactly what Jesus tells Peter to do at the end of verse 19, in this same chapter 21. And we know that to follow Him, is to follow Him into death to ourselves and into resurrection life in Himself.
Barbara Hemig