As you grow in Christ, and come into the knowledge of Him, the power for such things to govern you will dissipate. That is because Christ is the power of God, and He will be your life. That is the only lasting solution, although many today like to make it more complicated. There are many Christians today who offer various programs geared to fixing such things, but most of them amount to pasting the name of Jesus on man’s wisdom — the world does exactly the same stuff without the name of Christ — AND you can make natural man feel better. But none of this is eternal or the answer. None of it will accomplish God’s will. The answer is Christ — and He alone is what God has for us. So no, it is not a matter of you doing something wrong, or of not understanding a secret key, but a matter of needing what every one of us need — a greater release of Christ. I think God brings us to where we come to realize there is no hope at all other than Christ — and then we begin to see the real meaning of who He is. I can tell you that after years of depression and the worst possible emotional trauma, and years of trying every religious gimmick possible, that NONE of it was of any value at all.
Jesus is THE Way — and He is THE Truth and THE life. And you can be sure that it is impossible for you to want to come into the fullness of Jesus Christ more than God wants that for you. It just takes time for Him to bring us into the Truth — time to UNLEARN and to learn. Time in the wilderness so that we can take possession, not of ourselves, but take possession of the fullness of Christ.