“Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favorable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah. And I said, THIS IS MY INFIRMITY: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.” (Ps. 77:7-9)
This is a cry of one who feels lost. He cannot see God. He presently has no sense that God is with him. He cries out to God but God’s answer to him seems to be silence.
All believers will go through seasons such as this. But you will note that in the middle of this crying out is this statement: THIS IS MY INFIRMITY. What is he saying?
Certainly, “infirmity,” speaks of weakness, limitation, and physically, disease or sickness. But in the context of this cry to God, what INFIRMITY is this person talking about?
“THIS is my infirmity” — his infirmity is exactly what he is proclaiming: He cannot find God. Isn’t that an, “infirmity,” for us all? Yes, it is. You and I have absolutely no way to find God, see God, or know Jesus Christ — if left to ourselves. And no matter how spiritually mature we are, and no matter how much we have grown to know God, and no matter how much of a revelation I have already received of Jesus Christ, there is always more of Jesus Christ than we presently know. And we are going to be brought into places, both outwardly and spiritually, that will absolutely bring this out and expose OUR infirmity.
The good news is that I might not see God, but God sees me. I may not know where I am going, but I can believe the One who is leading. Herein is the purpose of God is bringing us into these places — that true faith might be proven and built in me. That my faith in God may no longer be based on anything at all about myself — that without any feelings, and any indications, and without any signs at all, I might BELIEVE and trust God, solely on the basis of HIS faithfulness.
This was one of the great discoveries of Job, during his great ordeal. He proclaimed, “Behold, I go forward, but he (God) is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him: On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hides himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But HE KNOWS the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (Job 23:8-10)
The Psalmist said, “This is my infirmity,” that is, I cannot of myself find God. I cannot see the way, or know the Truth. But then he proclaimed, “I shall remember the years of the right hand of The Most High.” The word, “remember,” is deeper than the English translation — it means to come into the knowledge of, indeed, in an inward way — for a believer, it would mean to come into an inward knowledge of Jesus Christ, so that, despite our weakness, Christ would be the power of God in us.
It is a common misconception and false teaching to suggest that if you have great faith you are going to hear God’s voice every 5 minutes and know exactly what God is doing all the time. No. Rather, if we go on with Jesus Christ we are going to be brought face to face with our INFIRMITY and weakness to see God — so that we might have opportunity to grow in faith — faith in the One who is, “other than us” — and who has never once let us out of His hand. This is actually one key to receiving true revelation. Faith is based not on OUR ability to believe, nor is it defeated by our infirmity, but true faith is based upon God’s unchanging faithfulness in Jesus Christ.
David A. DePra